Review of An American Haunting (2005) by Michael M — 01 Jan 2008

Wow! Talk about a disappointment, Courtney Solomon's lackluster of a horror film and feeble attempt at a period piece is about as bad as mass murder, but not nearly as entertaining. The premise is interesting and there is a lot they could have done with it -- it surrounds the only recorded case in American History where a spirit caused the death of a human being. Back in 1817, there was a man named John Bell (played by the great Donald Sutherland) who screwed this fat fugly-looking woman / land owner out of some money, and in return she supposedly put a curse on him and his family. All these strange, weird and totally unscary things start to happen, and the spirit who now haunts the Bell House seems to want to kill their daughter.

Besides failing to scare the bejesus out of me like any average horror flick should, 'An American Haunting' is also boring as hell. 90 minutes in that theater felt like three hours and every time I anxiously glanced at my watch I was disappointed to see only five minutes had passed. The film's gimmicks are old and cliché, about on par with a Lifetime Original Movie with Shannon Doherty and Keanu Reeves, if that. In the theater, behind me a group of kids were constantly giggling and cracking jokes. Normally, I would have gotten offended and ticked-off, but I can't really blame them for laughing. 'An American Haunting' is purely and utterly laughable and deserving of as much negative criticisms it can get.

The only actually good aspect of this film are the performances from Donald Sutherland and Sissy Spacek, two tremendous veteran actors who are incapable of turning in poor performances. But that's what I found so offensive about the film, it's one thing to make a shitty movie, but to cast actors like Donald Sutherland and Sissy Spacek in it is nothing short of criminal. What a waste of their talent! Before I go on and on with my pissy rant, I'll end my review by saying with all the surprisingly good horror pictures of 2006, 'An American Haunting' certainly falls at the bottom of the list. Grade: D (screened at AMC Deer Valley 30, Phoenix, AZ, 5/13/06).