Review of Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009) by Shannon M — 08 Oct 2013

The chipmunk movies are very dark. The movie opens with a series of chipmunk-induced violence. An old lady actually dies at the paws of the 'munks. (It is implied). Then the Chipmunks have to go to school, for some reason, and then get in a rivalry with the Chipetts, who are being managed by David Cross in a robe (which I find rather SEXY) and blahblah. Also there is a football game at some point but I blacked out and erased that bit from my memory (this tends to happen during Chipmunk movies).

Also, I want to point out that the CONSTANT sexualization of the female form, in media, is revolting. When it extends to female chipmunks it has gone too far. The chipetts were basically a bunch of gyrating skanks, singing Beyonce, with their asses hanging out. When they first appear in the movie, they are naked, which normally I would be okay with- as chimpunks are generally naked, but the male chipmunks have already set the precedent of being clothed. Anyway, really, it's offensive. Between this movie and Twilight.. it's like punching Feminism in the FACE. Speaking of punching... overheard from a chidder behind us in the theatre, in the middle of the movie, seemingly unprompted: "I am going to punch myself in the face". This is a pretty good criqitue of the movie as a whole.

And again.. I would like to point out that I DONT UNDERSTAND PEOPLE. The parts the audience laughed at were like.. when David Cross got scootered in the crotch. Or a chipmunk chipmunked his way up to a ceiling fan. As an sociological study if humor, watching this movie with an audience was horrifying. Also.. apparently chipmunks appeal to all demographics, there were more than just children and their parents in the theatre. WHY. I was (hypocritically) angry with the other movie-goers for supporting this movie. (We bought tickets to The Blindside so we were not supporting it).

"[It] could be the most aggressively terrible movie of the year." was what one reviewer said- but they are mistaken. It is aggressive. But the terrible trophy clearly goes to Twilight.