Review of Alone in the Dark (2005) by John M — 08 Nov 2010
Welcome to the wonderful world of Uwe Boll. You want to know why movies based on video game properties get a bad rep, it's cause of this guy. Now I'm barely familiar with the game; I just remember family members playing it when I was really little and it scaring me so much that I had to run out of the room.
There's nothing like that here. What goes on in this movie doesn't make any sense; something about this guy with a troubled childhood (Christian Slater) investigating the death of a friend... Something about a gateway into hell and a SWAT team, I don't know, it didn't make any goddamn sense.
This is inept, clumsy and awkward schlock. In the beginning, it does work as an unintentional comedy, but even that wears out its welcome pretty fast. There's just something about the wooden way that people talk; they all deliver their lines like they are reading them for the first time in a 1970's adult movie.
There is an exchange of dialogue in the movie that literally goes: "What is it?" "Nothing. The hair on the back of my neck just stood up."... Yeah, if Mystery Science Theater 3000 was still around, it would not surprise me in the least if they riffed this.
To call this a campy B-movie would be giving it a compliment. I don't blame Christian Slater for this; I know he can act (True Romance, Heathers), but I guess we all need a paycheck from time to time.
Although it never made me really angry like I thought it might, there is just no way of knowing how shitty this is without sitting down and seeing it for yourself.
This review of Alone in the Dark (2005) was written by John M on 08 Nov 2010.
Alone in the Dark has generally received very negative reviews.
Was this review helpful?
