Review of Aloha (2015) by Kurt N — 03 Jun 2015

Aloha - a movie that comes off like the script was a first draft screenplay written by a college student who had a mildly obsessive interest in Hawaii, romantic comedies, and the air force. Characters are not remotely the drive of the picture, the plot just happens because--it's a movie! Things are supposed to happen, right? It's a lukewarm flick that is neither here nor there in its attempts to be a romantic comedy, or raw moments from (somebody's) life that is not at all well processed into a good, fully though out narrative. Scenes lazily attempt to make the audience feel something; even the most desperate attempts to get laughs from the audience fell flat. The dialogue is absolutely atrocious; it is referenced that Emma Stone is 1/4 Hawaiian at least 4 times throughout the film, and words seem to mean nothing but not intentionally. Rachel McAdams greets Bradley Cooper at the very beginning of the film with, "I'm not talking to you," BUT IMMEDIATELY invites him to dinner. Whatever relationship these two characters were supposed to have had prior to this movie I simply can't believe in because, as dramatic, baggage-filled, and tension-filled their relationship is supposed to be THERE ARE NO BELIEVABLE SIGNS OF THIS THROUGHOUT. They are literally just plutonic friends that talk about a fake relationship they were never in for fun. Chemistry between Stone and Cooper is wonderful, but Stone actually has a lady boner for Cooper FOR THE ENTIRE MOVIE without any hesitation. And why use dialogue that any real person would use when you can just use exposition throughout the entire movie! RULE FOR ALL YOU WANNABE-SCREEN WRITERS: Exposition ends when act 2 begins, unless you're Quentin Tarantino and can deliver information in creative enough a way that it doesn't sound like the actor is just reading a character description off the script (no matter how hard they attempt make it sound casual or flirty).

The only redeemable factors of this film are a) the cinematography, b) the performances by the actors (despite the laughable dialogue they are forced to use) and c) the final scene of the film (which is the only scene that shows and does not tell, and actually made me feel some emotions for the characters, despite 1 hour and 40 minutes of complete BS prior to it).