Review of Aloha (2015) by Yael D — 12 Jun 2017

Let me start by saying, I created an account to write this review. This was the worst movie I have ever seen. If you're the kind of person that doesn't enjoy wasting 105 minutes of your life, do NOT press play on this train wreck of a romantic comedy.

Aside from the nothing short of spectacular actors peppering the cast, this movie offers nothing of value to the viewer. The plot is absolutely absurd and lacks any sort of clarity. We're dropped in Hawaii with a supposed failure of a human being (Cooper) who is determined to right his wrongs as a military contractor.

Sound great, right? Everyone loves a good comeback story. wrong. Instead you're pausing the movie 45 minutes in asking yourself "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?" Maybe you decide to turn it off.

Unfortunately, I decided to continue watching in hopes that some sliver of the seemingly interesting plot displayed in the trailer would shine through the shades. The concluding credits began ascending up the screen and there I was, contemplating never turning on another television for as long as I live.

But I digress. Pick another movie so you don't end up writing a one time review at 11:30pm on a Tuesday night. 19% was a generous rating. Godspeed.