Review of All the Real Girls (2003) by Thomas M — 01 Dec 2003

I was going to give this one a 5/10*, but after reading in the credits it was filmed in Asheville, NC (a place I have lived) I lowered it by one star. I didn't even recognize the city with the dry heaves of sepia I was subjected to for that 108 minutes.

Can we say zero character development, history, interest, redeeming qualities? I was supposed to care about this place and these people? No thanks.

All the Real Girls reminds me of another Xanax on film from last season (ironically another Sundance baby), The Slaughter Rule. Do they have some story? yes. Do they have some good actors? Sure. Did they make me care one iota about the film by making one or all interesting? Not at all.

The only reason I am not goose-egging this one is because there were some scenes between the young lovers that were well written. The majority of the film felt like a deletion reel, with useless digressions and hideous supporting characters as a lame attempt at some kind of Greek chorus.

There wasn't enough going on in the main story line to support with the rest of the cast.

Thanks for bringing back Patricia Clarkson in the final scenes. No thanks for omitting any story of her motivation.

Choppy is an understatement for this film. The only finesse it has it borrowed from Boys Don't Cry. The mise en scene is dreadful. Did they get a discount on Asheville in late fall? That certainly couldn't have been a motif for the drabness of their lives. We didn't learn enough about them for such a bold cinematic premise.

When the words: The End finally showed up, I nearly wept with relief.