Review of Alien: Covenant (2017) by Quazatron — 20 May 2017

When I first saw Prometheus, I immediately liked the idea behind it.

Classic mankind questions were brought into the movie and created a whole new horizon in the Aliens franchise world. Questions like "WHO ARE WE?", "WHERE DO WE COME FROM?" or "WHY DID OUR ENGINEERS TRIED TO KILL US?" made Prometheus a great movie in a variant way and made us anxiously wait for a sequel. A sequel that supposedly would answer all these questions; a sequel that promised to explain us all the origins and humanity and the aliens...

I WAS SO WRONG! Alien Covenant turned to be a fake promise and did not answer any questions raised in its predecessor Prometheus.

Even being a great fan of the Aliens (apart from Alien 4 and Alien vs Predator movies), I can't agree with the mess Mr. Ridley Scott did with Alien Covenant.

Let's go to the facts:

(CHARACTERS).

Characters in Prometheus were not the best. They lacked a bit of personality, attitude and empathy with the audience, even if acting was GOOD, especially Michael Fassbender. In Alien Covenant, as far as anyone can see, characters are even worse! They simply exist to die, nothing more. No intelligence, no meaning, no use, nothing! Acting was equally BAD, apart from Michael Fassbender again!

(REALISM).

In Prometheus we have seen one main stupid scene that in real life would NEVER happen: a fascinated scientist that got in direct touch with alien life with no apparent reason or care. In Alien Covenant, Mr. Ridley Scott kept thinking we all LIKED that a lot and populated the entire movie with unrealistic scenes! NO, Mr. Scott! We didn't like or approve your decisions on adding nonsense to the movie!

1) As much as an alien planet would look like Earth, no one would ever land on it and explore it without a suit and EXTREME care and attention! THAT WOULDN'T HAPPEN IN REAL LIFE!

2) No intelligent person would ever stayed inside the same room of an ill person that seemed to be infected. Much less would a normal person touch the other one with evident signs of "mutation" and bleeding. NO, Mr. SCOTT! THIS ISN'T VERY REAL!

3) What kind of crew was in the ship, after all? They were supposed to be the BEST among the BEST. They carry 2000 human embryos to be taken to a planet that was long surveyed and studied. THEY should be a RESPONSIBLE crew. They are NOT! From an instant to another, the captain simply decides to investigate another Earth-like planet that seems to be sending "strange" signal messages, discarding the long studied planet just because the crew of the ship doesn't want to spend 7 years in their sleep capsules that recently had a failure. THIS ISN'T ALSO REAL, MR. SCOTT! A Captain should be a WELL TRAINED person, prepared to make the best choices in the most aggressive and stressing moments.

4) Who in its normal state would make love in a shower knowing that a new life form was roaming free inside the ship? What the heck is that, Mr. Scott? There's an alien in the ship and you tell your movie characters to make love in a shower like if the life form was just a simple fly? THIS IS NOT REALISM!!!

I could simply go on and tell you Alien fans more and more inconsistencies, but I'd just make myself BORING! All that matters about Alien Covenant is that it has no realism; everything seems so stupid to the point we wanna give up seeing the movie!!

(SPECIAL FX).

Special effects on Alien Covenant are fairly decent, but not so great as in Prometheus. Some sequences, however, are a bit confusing to the eye and does not help fans to like them a lot.

(STORY).

Alien Covenant has no story. Period. What? Yes! I'm serious! NO story at all. It's a bad mix of Prometheus with Alien and Aliens. The result is a miscellaneous SOUP of grotesque TASTE, awful SMELL and POISONOUS consequences! Ridley Scott could have the opportunity to make Prometheus even bigger than what it was, even more marvelous than what it became. But no. He did something much worse than giving no story to Alien Covenant. He KILLED the original Alien story and the entire franchise!

(LACK OF OPPORTUNITY) Ridley Scott had the opportunity of his life. Do his best to make a GRAND Alien movie for the generations to come. Being the father of Alien, he could have done so much for Alien Covenant. He could have made it a reference (for the difference) in the Alien franchise. He didn't. He shot his own son and spitted on his fans!!

In summary, Alien Covenant is the WORST of the Aliens. It didn't ruin itself alone; it ruined all Aliens (the good ones and the bad ones).

Even with a great photography, Alien Covenant is a movie without a soul, empty in all senses, doesn't answer any questions made in Prometheus and dares to destroy the whole Alien concept. It's sad, my dear reader. Sad but true. I'm disappointed. And I'm gonna forget that Alien Covenant ever exists.