Review of Alien: Covenant (2017) by Andy ? — 10 Aug 2017

So just a little background, to avoid insulting fans of the series.. I am one of them. I've watched the first 3 Alien films at the age of 5, and I must say, this is literally the biggest insult to my intelligence to date.

In comparison with LIFE which came out this year, this movie has NOTHING for me. Awful characters, awful script, awful CGI for the creatures, ZERO tension, zero character development, CHEAP Jason X style kills, and a homo erotic android as the main villain.

I think it's safe to say that Ridley Scott has lost his marbles, would much rather have seen Neil Blompkamp's Alien 5. At least Prometheus tried to be different, but this is just like bad Alien/Blade Runner fan fiction, which failed to entertain me, beyond the occasional laugh out loud moment at the stupidity of the main characters.

And well, if I have to resort to laughing while watching an ALIEN movie, you know something has gone SERIOUSLY wrong.