Review of Alexander (2004) by Keenan S — 13 Aug 2011
Alexander The Great my ass! This film should have been called Alexander: The Adventures Of The Whiny Gay Mama's Boy. This film so laughably awful, that I was actually able to salvage it for camp value.
Where to begin? Colin Farrell was awful in his performance, but maybe I can't totally blame him since the script is so nonsensical. It's been said that Alexander was gay or bisexual, but that seemed to be the film's main message: GUESS WHAT? ALEXANDER WAS GAY! Okay, we get it, can we get onto his accomplishments now? The film simply plods about with Alexander whining incessantly, a few battles, Alexander having conversations with one his male lovers, Alexander kissing or having sex with his OTHER male lover (By the way, both his boyfriends look like women, so what's the point of being gay if you're just going to have sex with men who look like girls?), and other oddly gay moments (Why does his father randomly rape some guy during certain scenes?).
Every performance is terrible ranging from Angelina Jolie playing Alexander's mother who just so happens to be some crazy snake lady with a Transylvanian accent, to Anthony Hopkins giving a very boring performance.
Yes, I watched the 3.5-hour cut and I still found this film to be incredibly stupid, laughably awful, and insulting simultaneously. How anyone calls this an underrated masterpiece, I have no clue. I'm gay and I found this film to be totally retarded! It's the retarded, gay equivalent of Gone With The Wind set during ancient times.
But I sure had a good laugh watching Oliver Stone's delusional dream project unfold.
This review of Alexander (2004) was written by Keenan S on 13 Aug 2011.
Alexander has generally received mixed reviews.
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