Review of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012) by Spencer S — 14 May 2013

Since reading the book, written by the same person who did this screenplay, I have wanted to love this wholly. Alas, that was never to be, because though I love playful interpretation of history, and I love the supernatural for all it's worth, this film does not mash the two ideas into a coherent and enjoyable story.

Really, this has all the elements of a very badly made indie horror film, but with historical accuracy and a big budget. That's my first main problem actually: the historical accuracy. Like the book this film follows the actual timeline of Lincoln's life, which means that everything he does, whether fighting vampires, or getting tutored by the character of Henry (Cooper), it's in a setting that Lincoln actually lived in.

That means that most of the movie takes place in a small Illinois town, and mostly revolves around Lincoln slaying vampires, unnamed and mostly unarmed. Even with the endless action, there aren't any real stakes, except brutal revenge on Lincoln's part, and that doesn't really fuel anything.

Even when he has the enemy of two very evil and assassinating vampires take the reins and start the Civil War, we know he's going to win against them. There's a shoehorned climax involving a train, which doesn't propel anything forward.

The effects weren't even that great; if we're being perfectly frank, and most of the time the characters are surrounded by so many effects that we can barely even see them let alone get into it.

The movie also uses vampires as the reason for the Civil War, which is taken from the book, but unlike the book Lincoln is given a black friend and from the start wants an end to slavery. Why could that truth be broken and yet he has to be in a certain place when certain vampire slaying takes place? That and Mary Todd isn't crazy but a caring and diligent wife, which is just too far from the truth.

The only part of this film that can even be described as awesome would be the ending, which really feeds well into the credits, and is a better ending than in the book. This film doesn't even get to be silly stupid action fun, because most of the action is shrouded in CGI, and there aren't many stakes, even at the end.

For a film that has elements that everybody loves, nobody explicitly loves this film.