Review of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012) by Zachary I — 24 Oct 2013

So last year we had two movies about the 16th President of the United States Abraham Lincoln. The first one with Daniel Day Lewis was a great history film and one of my favorite movies of last year and the second one with Benjamin Walker was a terrible action movie and one of the worst movies of last year.

Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter is based off the book of the same name written by Seth Grahame- Smith which I've never read, but I've heard good things about it. Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter stars Benjamin Walker, Dominic Cooper, Anthony Mackie, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, and Rufus Sewell and the movie is directed by Timur Bekmambetov.

The basic plot of the movie is that it follows Abraham Lincoln at a young where his mother is killed by a vampire. Years later, he is trained by a man named Henry Sturges to hunt and kill vampires. He hunts vampires at night while during daytime he is winning the heart of Mary Todd who will later become his wife.

Abraham Lincoln then has to stop a vampire lord named Adam and his forces of vampires. First off, I love the idea of taking the most influential figure of the 19th century and turning him into a vampire hunter while being a president at the same time.

The plot had a good idea, but it was so poorly executed into a mindless action movie. Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter is a dumb, overly serious, horrible action horror movie and one of the worst movies of 2012.

I really wanted to like this movie, but I ended up hating it. The movie doesn't follow the book at all from what I hear. In the movie, there is one villain whereas in the book there were multiple villains in several arcs which I would've like to see several villains instead of one.

Also, most of the sets and action scenes weren't even in the book from I hear which might make fans mad. The movie has a great cast, but the characters they play are not interesting at all expect Benjamin Walker as Abe Lincoln.

Benjamin Walker did a very good job in this movie as Abraham Lincoln and he strangely resembles a young Liam Neeson. He's not as good as Daniel Day Lewis, but he's the only enjoyable thing about this movie.

Dominic Cooper did an okay job in this movie, but I really don't like his character that much. Anthony Mackie also gave a mediocre performance in this movie which is sad because he is a great actor.

Mary Elizabeth Winstead was mediocre as Mary Todd and it's such a shame that she wasn't that good in this movie. I like Dominic Cooper, I like Anthony Mackie, and I like Mary Elizabeth Winstead and this movie just wastes their talent and it's so sad.

Rufus Sewell was terrible in this movie as the villain Adam and Adam was a horrible villain and is easily one of the worst things about this movie. The special effects in Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter are some of the worst I have ever seen in my life.

Everything looks like a Playstation 1 game that came out in the 90's and it looks terrible. The sets look cheap and I swear one scene looked like it was shot in Disneyworld in the Hall of Presidents.

It looked so cheap and it might have been filmed in Anaheim and Orlando. Well I just promoted something so go to Disneyland and Disneyworld. Anyway, the action scenes are poorly edited and shot and the only good action scene was the train fight, but even that was not that entertaining at all.

I also didn't like the look of the vampires and they looked so stupid. The pacing is some of the worst ever. There are scenes that drag and it sometimes never slows down. All of the time, I just found myself to be bored watching this movie.

In my Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters review, I stated that this movie never embraced the fact that it was stupid and cheesy. In Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters, the movie knew it was stupid and cheesy and it worked so well.

Here, the movie never does that and it takes a overly serious tone all of the movie. That aspect really bugged me. The saddest thing about this movie was that the original script was written by Seth Grahame Smith and then Hollywood thought that his script wasn't good enough and instead the film was rewritten by Simon Kinberg who was the same dumb moron who wrote X-Men The Last Stand which is to date the worst Marvel movie I have ever seen.

Simon Kinberg should go die. I wonder how Seth Grahame Smith's original script was like and it would have probably would have been a lot better than this garbage. The writing is awful and is some of the worst I have ever seen.

It's like when George A Romero wrote his own script for a Resident Evil movie that is so true to the games and yet Hollywood lets Paul W.S Anderson makes his Resident Evil movies and they don't accept George A Romero's script.

That's what I hate about Hollywood sometimes is when they don't accept people that have talent and yet they accept people who have no talent whatsoever like Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer, Michael Bay, Paul W.

S Anderson, Uwe Boll, Fred Savage, and Marlon Wayans. It's also sad that Tim Burton produced this movie. So you can probably guess, I hate this movie. There's nothing good about it expect Benjamin Walker and taking the most influential figure of the 19th century and turning him into a vampire killer.

They took a book that was very good and turned it into a lazy, mindless action movie. Skip this movie at all costs and if you're a fan of the book don't watch this movie. Well, at least I rented it which was a good thing.