Review of A Wrinkle in Time (2018) by Soulsurvivr — 12 Mar 2018

Here are some of the things I learned about while reading the novel "A Wrinkle in Time":

1. The evils of totalitarianism.

2. The transcendence of the soul.

3. The connectedness of all things.

4. The seductive danger of vanity and pride.

5. The redemptive power of love.

Here are some of the things I learned while watching an apparently unrelated movie of the same title:

1. Fairy godmothers have a funky fashion sense and quote everyone from Rumi to Outkast, but never the Bible.

2. Riding a giant piece of lettuce enables the human body to achieve aerodynamic lift.

3. When yoga therapy with a cave-dwelling guru doesn't lead to the answers you're seeking, sheer desperation will light the way.

4. When your desperation leads you into the path of a tornado spawned from the Matrix, outwit it with your superior knowledge of aerodynamics and the pattern recognition skills you no doubt honed while playing endless hours of Cuphead. Trust me, it's science.

5. Trust no one EXCEPT carnival barkers at Coney Island.

6. Never take hoagies from a carnival barker while interacting with the holodeck.

7. Saying your times tables activates your latent mutant powers.

8. Even as a child, Magneto was a savage.

9. If two of your children are in mortal danger, save your favorite and ditch the mouthy one. That's why you had two.

10. I can be obligated to leave a movie 15 minutes before the end and feel not even a little bit of regret.