Review of A Quiet Place (2018) by Pastor Don P — 22 Apr 2018

Sci fi /horror must be plausible and this is not. Spoilers follow. For the front part of the show it's entertaining enough. But cinema is about suspending disbelief and that gets a deep workout in this film.

You can score points by spotting the many failures of logic large and small. Why are some sounds dangerous while others of about the same volume are not? If the creatures can be baited and killed by guns, and there are millions of guns in the world, why have the creatures taken over? How do you keep a baby's face perfectly still through the night? Was the grain silo filled from this family's crops, or drawn upon by the family, and if so how was it done silently? Had no one ever noticed the six-inch nail? In the whole world, now almost emptied of people, did no one else manage to think about putting two and two together about how to use sound? Then - the answer (not really a spoiler), you realise that the gun will, once again, save the day - the solemn nodding at the end tells you that this part at least is to be believed.

The camera lingers over the rifle's curves like the proverbial lover - much more sensually than it does over the lovemaking adults. As for the special effects, there's nothing wrong with a film being derivative of a classic like Alien - see for example 'Life' which, despite not being the greatest show ever made, was worth seeing for its utterly mundane plausibility on how we might get invaded.

But here, the monster lacks brio. It has Alien-like jaws, but in trying to make it different, the design makes the face disappear and the creature loses character and has no sense of irony, mischief, vindictiveness, or humour, unlike the original, or the sheer, brutal alienness as in Life.

Instead of being a superb athlete or organism, it looks and often moves like a gangly geriatric. Despite being able to hear whispers from miles away, it can't hear only inches in front of it a racing heartbeat, a woman labouring (albeit with screams suppressed), gasps, frightened breathing, the trickle of blood, or the rustle of clothing.

The film extolls the bravery and wit of the male characters, gives the children important achievements including one child who is hearing impaired, and in a nod to feminism it shows women's strength - except that the feminism here remains in praise of the real star which is, unsurprisingly, the gun.

This is a lavish production in the way of the emperor's new clothes. Still, it could be useful - parents might return home and try telling funny, smart but rowdy kids that you have just seen a whole movie where the obedient children made no noise at all for more than a year.