Review of A Quiet Place (2016) by Kyle%20 V — 11 Jul 2018

The only reason this film gets two stars is for it's premise. Are you interested in watching a movie so unbelievably misguided that you find yourself screaming at your television? This is the movie for you.

No good critic bashes a film for being unrealistic. As a moviegoer, you have to enter into a land of suspended disbelief. This is the job of a director, to take you on a journey through this land and to be your guide.

That's where this movie falls off the tracks entirely. John Krasinski creates a world with rules, and then abandons the rules almost immediately. The house looks like a DIY project, with lights strung from post to post outside, and a house built up in a manner to protect against noise and the creatures that lurk outside (complete with packed fruits in mason jars for some odd reason).

In the process of building this dreamland, no nail had to be hammered in? And while we're talking about nails, in 400 days, nobody noticed a nail sticking out of the stairs which they have marked for the perfect place not to creak? Have you ever tried to pry a nail with a knapsack? It doesn't work.

The creature absolutely demolished a raccoon while it was quietly running through the field, the children replace monopoly pieces with balls of cotton, but shake the dice in their hands and roll them simultaneously? Holy hell, these are some dumb individuals who have lasted this long.

You cant swim through corn. Corn does not act like quicksand. How about the worlds quietest baby? C'mon guys, be consistent here. When the baby is birthed, the creature completely forgets that it finds things by sound and allows this baby to cry, in the meanwhile, even a small murmur draws the creature to the house in less than a few seconds.

I wanted to like this movie so bad, and apparently so did the people paying critics for their reviews. No character development at all, no reason to care for these characters. If I had to watch Jim Halpert dramatically put a finger in front of his mouth one more time to signal being quiet I was going to scream, and hope to be found by one of these creatures.

You are not a reliable critic if you found this to be a good movie.