Review of A Perfect World (1993) by Blind P — 07 Jul 2010

I won't bear grudge enough to seek the answer to my rage towards whoever it was that convinced me through a review to watch a movie with Kevin Costner in a lead role. Such things raise the ire of mistrust in other recommendations though, so privately I'll track down the culprit for my own information.

The credibility of this movie is completely shot repeatedly throughout as several completely unbelievable things occur:

Kevin Costner is a feared tough guy.

Kevin Costner draws sexual attention from a female.

Kevin Costner is mourned in death.

I could go on...

It's a prison break/kidnap/road movie that features way too much Costner to allow the viewer much time away from bending over the vomit bucket. Costner has a magical power to make one vomit just upon first sight, and again from first utterance, so that must be the explanation as to why he is such a power player in Hollywood. The studio executives and investors see him coming to pitch a script and they of course do not desire to vomit, so they sign off on anything quickly in hope of avoiding the Costner Sickness.

I guess I went on...

Clint Eastwood's character is thinly drawn in relationship, with a murky reference to a past misdeed that landed poor old woe begotten Costner in prison to begin, and otherwise reprising the same old skinflint tough guy cop that is suspicious of any female co-worker's competence (played by Laura Dern). I saw it all in Dirty Harry.

Costner runs, Eastwood chases, and in the end it all comes to the aforementioned incredible and impossible circumstance of the film trying to make us be sad about Costner dying. If I would have had foreknowledge that Costner would be featured so much more than Eastwood, I never would have been suckered into viewing it.

Run in the opposite direction as fast as you can, and hope the movie never catches you.