Review of A Dog's Journey (2019) by Bitesizecenter — 01 Jan 2020

The screenwriters birthed this miscarriage of a script with the express intent of underhandedly insulting the collective intelligence of this film's target demographic. That is the only way I can rationalize what I just watched without succumbing to the overwhelming urge to blow my brains out. Based on the box office numbers, I have to begrudgingly applaud them on their accomplishment. I refuse to engage with any aspect of the film's plot, character development, or anything that could even remotely be construed as storytelling. To do so would be to tacitly imply that this has any value as a work of art. Good job you absolute hacks, you have perfected the art of terrible writing, and in doing so exposed the raw stupidity and lack of good taste possessed by a frighteningly large portion of our population.

This thing is audaciously offensive, a blatant middle-finger to the general movie-going populace. The overwhelmingly positive reviews by so-called "fans" have GOT to be shills. I refuse to believe otherwise. It's either that, or all hope for humanity has been lost, we are irredeemable, and must be eradicated for the good of all other lifeforms on this planet.

TLDR: Don't watch it just get a real dog instead.