Review of A Christmas Prince (2017) by Julia B — 23 Dec 2017

I thought I had seen it all. I thought the world had nothing left to offer me. Then I saw A Christmas Prince. This festive dumpster fire full of cliches, cringey one liners, and shameless exploitation of children with disabilities renewed my faith in the movie industry.

This movie has proven that you can never have enough poorly produced films with milquetost white protagonists who work for gossip magazines, nor enough films starring a whiny privileged asshat whose constant existential dread can be summed up with the sentence, "but mom, I don't WANT to be king!" If you've ever wanted to live vicariously through an adopted, sexless prince who resembles a russet potato or an eight year old princess who just won't stop saying "it's spina bifida, and there IS no cure," this is the film for you.

Thank you, A Christmas Prince, for restoring my faith in humanity. After all, if the prince could somehow manage to fly to America with no security whatsoever so he could propose to most basic white bitch in New York in front of her dad's barbeque shrimp palace, anything is possible.