Review of 7 Lucky Ninja Kids (1987) by Ralph R — 27 May 2010

As a college freshman, my friend Ben and I unearthed this travesty in a 1 dollar DVD bin at a local Family Dollar. Words cannot describe the feeling one gets when first hearing the opening theme. Contains absurdly sexist and rascist over-tones and some of the most horrifying actor/child exploitation this side of Troma movies. (ultimate win goes to 'little girl through window into solid-concrete faceplant'.) I have, as of yet, been unable to unearth virtually any information regarding this movie despite spending "countless seconds" using google. According to IMDB, the black thug is named "Eugene." (A hearty "LOL" to say the least).

I'm fairly confidant the origin of this movie is Hong-Kong, though it has the distinct flavor of lesser Japanese grindhouse flicks, and it makes a passing reference to an 80's attack on a South Korean fishing vessel by Argentina. The cast was never seen again (as far as I can tell) and I don' think the movie even listed a director (much like the Hooked on a Feeling Hasselhoff video). People NEED to see movies like this in order to create a measurable standard at which to compare other movies. For instance, Night Train to Mundo Fine seems almost oscar-worthy compared to this.