Review of 638 Ways to Kill Castro (2006) by Stephen V — 21 Jul 2007

This British (of course!) investigation into the 638 documented attempts on Comandante Fidel's life is both hilarious and heart-breaking: hilarious in the directors' revelation of the idiocy behind most of the attempts, such as exploding cigars, mafia hits, poisoned diving masks and beard-dissolving powders, and heart-breaking in their documentation of a small but politically well-connected group of fanatics who stoop to terrorism against civilians in order to keep alive their anachronistic vision of a "free Cuba.

" The weightiness of the interviews with the would-be assassins and their families is offset by entertaining rare footage of both Fidel (in pajamas!) and Che (shirtless!). Perhaps the most poignant moment is the juxtaposition of W's argument that nations who harbor terrorists are terrorist with footage of himself and Padre Bush cavorting with two Cuban-Americans who have been proven to have killed a multitude of civilians by blowing up a Cuban airliner carrying mostly teenagers and setting off bombs in Havana hotel rooms.

The underlying message--that each of our assassination attempts actually strengthens Castro by allowing him to play David to our Goliath--is eloquently expressed by Jimmy Carter, whose analysis stands in stark opposition to W's halting, ungrammatical calls in Spanish for his version of a free Cuba.