Review of 31 (2016) by Dharamveer — 14 Jul 2017

A movie I've been waiting and wanting for ages, written and directed by a brave master of horror and cinema, My Hero Mr. Rob Zombie. It's up there with my other favorite films of his which are, "House of 1000 Corpses", "The Devil's Rejects", "Halloween II", and "The Lords of Salem". An old school 70's solid grindhouse horror with a simple plot, which is made in the style of the master himself, with its vibes from "House Of 1000 Corpses" and more of "The Devil's Rejects", combined in one extremely epic way. It takes place back in year 1976 and it's about a group of carnival workers who get kidnapped on Halloween night. They're thrown into an abandoned warehouse, and forced to play a game called 31, defending themselves against a bunch of psychotic killers dressed up as clowns for 12 hours, and their only chance for survival is to kill or get killed. It's an insanely intense bloody carnival ride of a feature that will leave you with nonstop shocking scenes of murder, mayhem, madness, vulgarity, lots of dark humor, and it's all very well executed in a completely hectic and energetic mode which is bold, brilliant, and just a whole lot of fun. The makeup effects are fantastic and the fight scenes are really brutal, along with just about everything in this film. It's all very realistic, and if you actually pay attention, it feels like you're in the movie yourself. You've got a league of massive icons, major veterans, and newcomers bringing these amazing characters to life. The awesome score has it's vibes from classic 70s and 80s horror scores, and as always, from a Rob Zombie film, the soundtrack is filled with super golden oldies.

As a horror fan, I'm always rooting for the villains, but in this feature, the good characters are badasses, too, and it's really a tough choice for me to root for sides. Sheri Moon Zombie's performance as Charley is extremely impressive. At first her character is weak and girlish, but as she fights from one level to another for survival with her team of carnies, she gains more resiliency and transforms into more of a warrior. The Iconic Meg Foster as Venus is the toughest and wisest of them all; believe it or not, you'll get to see her wielding a chainsaw against a maniac, and she really looks great for her age, too. I really loved Roscoe, played by Jeff Daniel Phillips, who's more of a badass in the entire team of carnies; he's a fighter and he never quits. EG Daily's character as Sexhead is the hottest + craziest killer clown you will ever see, with her sweet voice and her jaw dropping looks will definitely thrill the audience. I would definitely love to see a movie mainly about E.G.'s character. Another interesting character who's movie I would love to see is... the sickest and scariest character of them all, who starts off the movie with his mindblowing speech and later on steals the entire show. This man may look like a clown, with his grease painted makeup; but trust me, folks, this chaotic individual ain't no clown, and he definitely ain't no Joker clowning around from the Batman Universe; he ain't playing around when it comes to his job. A new face of horror which is truly iconic is finally here and he is known as Doomhead, played by Richard Brake, who's performance is extremely phenomenal. I believe Richard badly needs an Oscar for his role as Doomhead, the greatest performance I've ever seen in a long time.

I've been wondering why there are bad reviews for a movie like this. Well, I guess the audience nowadays are mostly into horror films in the mainstream world which are being too friendly with PG13 ratings and CGI effects or whatever. I, on the other hand, will never waste my time doing negative reviews, because I know everything isn't easy to do in life and not everyone on the planet has the same taste for everything. Some of the audience were expecting it to be more gory, but they forget that it's because of the MPAA, why we never really get to see the NC17 version of "31". I really hope the uncut version will be available on home video someday, though I'm still happy that at least we got to see this Rated R version of "31". I've been a fan of Rob Zombie's movies since I was a kid and this man has never disappointed me in any of his works and till this very day, he's always passionate for the horror genre. He's not doing it for the fame or making number 1 movies at the box office; he's actually doing it for his fans, and I'm proud to say that I'm one of them. When I saw "31" for the very first time, I was just blown away from start to finish as it was so good, I had to watch it over and over again. It's kinda strange, too, because whenever I watch it, I feel there's a lot of positive and inspirational messages I get from this movie, and there's a really powerful message at the ending which is pretty similar to "The Devil's Rejects" and it's one of the best endings I've ever seen in a long time.