Review of 300: Rise of an Empire (2014) by Lxquickjustice — 11 Aug 2014

You know that movie you like? And then that sequel that comes out and ruins it? Well, this is that movie! I never loved 300, but it's super macho killing was moderately interesting when You know that movie you like? And then that sequel that comes out and ruins it? Well, this is that movie! I never loved 300, but it's super macho killing was moderately interesting when watched either drunk or stoned, but rise of an empire basically comes along and takes a huge dump on it. *Spoilers ahead *.

Okay... Get this... According to this movie, you know that Xerxes god character? Well he has this sister right... And she's totally the brains of the operation and 100% manipulated everything that happened in movie 1 because... She's... Ugh... Female I guess... And it's only %10,000 unrealistic for a bunch of arab men to follow a woman into battle in ancient times, but WHATEVER, it's a movie... But... This whole flick is about her failed attempts to look arousing while smirking from ear to ear and it culminates in her telling off Xerxes really big to "Go sit on your golden throne and enjoy the safety my army provides you." If the makers of this film had any sort of respect for the 1st movie, they wouldn't reduce Xerxes to such a pathetic character, I mean, he already basically lost in movie 1, and now we're supposed to believe he can't even run his own army? What's left? Will the 3rd 300 movie feature a distant cousin who totally manipulated Xerxes, his sister and all of humanity into a war while leisurely eating grapes in a distant land? Makes about as much sense as this crap. I enjoyed the movie for a while but little sis running the show and her 13 foot brother being a weakling got old really fast. After she told him off, I didn't even bother watching the final battle. What for? I did jump ahead a little and saw Leonidas' queen charging the enemy, and instantly felt good about my decision to skip the last 25 minutes... It was bad.