Review of 3 Ninjas (1992) by Brandon S — 27 May 2010

Take a half-pint imitation of "Home Alone," fuse it with a Bruce Lee martial-arts fantasy, and frost it with a thick sugarcoating of Walt Disney-style comic cheer, and you have "3 Ninjas," the story of three young brothers trained in the martial arts who foil the schemes of an evil arms smuggler named Snyder (Rand Kingsley).

Rocky (Michael Treanor), Colt (Max Elliott Slade) and Tum Tum (Chad Power), sons of an F.B.I. agent, have been trained as ninjas by their indefatigably spry grandfather (Victor Wong). Grandpa, as he is known, also seems to possess magical powers. Early in the film, he vanishes in a flash, only to be discovered seconds later perched high in a tree.

His pupils are as fearless and invincible as he. When some demented gun-toting surfers are sent by Snyder to the boys' house to kidnap them, their counterinsurgency is a balletic tour de force of lightning manuevers augmented by household items ranging from jellybeans to a powerful laxative.

The film can't seem to make up its mind whether it wants to be a comedy, a fantasy or an adventure film. Mr. Kingsley's villain gnashes his teeth and snorts, "I love being the bad guy." Those who displease him are threatened with the tearing out of a heart or liver. The character ends up being neither scary nor funny, while the boys are so busy demonstrating their superhuman skills that no personalities emerge.

Beneath all the excitement, the message that "3 Ninjas" conveys is anything but reassuring. Cute as they are, Rocky, Colt and Tum Tum live only to practice martial arts. Not yet adolescent, they have been programmed by their cheery Grandpa into being a robotic team of leaping and spinning lethal weapons.

It all depends on what you would call 3 Ninjas. A good movie? I wouldn't call it that. Would you call it bad? No. I would call it horrible. No, actually, all of the above. I didn't feel it was great, it lacked some lead. But, it did have some humor in it and the characters were unforgettable, the acting however, was. How do you see 3 Ninjas? To me it's a childish.