Review of 2012 (2009) by Andrew K — 31 Mar 2013

I'm tired of these disaster movies capitalizing on stupid popular crazes. The Day After Tomorrow did the whole Al Gore global warming shtick and now this one does the Mayan prophecy. But what I'm more mad at is that fact that a good amount of people are stupid enough to see this shit.

You're falling for their not so clever trap you fools! These movies are even starting to follow a fairly predictable formula. 2 or 3 big names actors, paper thin script about some sort of unnatural disaster, couple moments of entertaining destruction with cgi in-between layers of dull characters not developing in the slightest and plenty of pseudo-science that makes the the pseudo-science in Spiderman look believable by comparison.

Let me get the good out of the way, the plane escape scene 50 minutes in was pretty cool. It was well shot and thoroughly entertaining, and that's it. The bad? Everything else. Seriously, everything else about this movie is complete crap.

I mean come on people it's just The Day After Tomorrow again, wasn't that movie horrible enough? Haven't we suffered plenty? Roland Emmerick doesn't think so. John Cusack tries his hardest in his role but he's basically playing the same character from 1408 while Woody Harrelson plays a conspiracy theory fruitcake.

One infuriating aspect of this movie that Day After Tomorrow shared was it's preaching the folly of man with one hand and then masturbating of the scenes of deaths of countless human beings. Not only do I find these scenes offensive to both my intellect and character, but the whole idea of these kinds of movies are just wrong.

Do you know why there was so much panic about 2012 in 2009 and 08? It's because Hollywood hired people to make fake websites spreading their ludicrous rumor just to help promote the hype for this abysmal movie.

But in the end, the only people to blame are everyone involved in the making of these movies and everyone who contributes a single cent to these movies. That's right, if you payed to see this movie in any form, then you're everything that's wrong with American cinema and to an extension this world.

While these shitty disaster movies always show a bright future despite the fact that everything before it lays in ruin, the fact that these movies keep getting made and people are more than willing to buy their shit paints a very bleak picture for our future and makes me ashamed to be a human.

Bottom line: This movie sucks ass juice and people suck too.