Review of 10,000 BC (2008) by Astho B — 25 May 2011

FULL REVIEW!

Cavemen face a variety of prehistoric threats- from being bumped off by early mammals to mass slavery- in this Summer Blockbuster from Roland Emmerich, the director of "Independence Day" and "The Day After Tomorrow".

Emmerich seems to be developing a reputation for the predictable. People that hated "Independence Day" and "The Day After Tomorrow" will probably also find the exact same reasons for hating 10,000BC. Just like these films the balance between special effects and story telling is completely one sided. The thing is if you don't mind this and you accept this as a big, no-brainer Summer film 10,000BC isn't really THAT bad.

It ammuses me that whilst Emmerich must have thought it would be cool to be historically accurate so far as to remove any sign of Dinosaurs he then made the decision to let the film's main caveman tribe speak clean American English! This took me back at first as I admit I was expecting grunts and name calling like in earlier caveman flicks such as "One Million Years B.C.", etc. After a little longer it occured to me that a lack of dialogue and subtitles would seriously slow how fast the story unfolds and would stifle the ultimately epic scale this film pitches.

There's also other problems, mainly due to not attending to the details and not quite deciding what genre the film actually belongs in. For example, we are left to assume that once the main character D'Leh (played by Steven Strait) sets off on his journey to rescue his kidnapped kin that he crosses MOST OF THE WORLD at an alarming rate. Starting on snowy mountain peaks and harsh highland he heads out into tropical rainforest (?!) before crossing onto an African Plain (?!!) and onto Desert (?!!!) and what I'm guessing must be Ancient Egypt or the site of some other ancient civilisation. You could probably travel through such locations and in that order somewhere in the world (maybe) but would they be that close together that you could make it on foot? This ever changing landscape spins the film into an epic adventure that has generally taken most friends who have watched it by surprise. It goes from the hunting ceremony of isolated Cavemen to a slave uprising on the site of a pyramid with 1000s of people fighting that reminds me of scenes from Stargate!

The impressively rendered creatures are no less variable. Starting with herds of huge, wooly Mammoths, the film quickly changes the enemy to Horse riding nomads and then to awesome 10 foot tall jungle birds, before letting a Sabre Toothed Tiger guest appear and ending back on slavers and Egyptian Gods! As I've already said the story is daft but it doesn't matter because with this much variety I was generally kept interested for the course of the film.

There's a reasonably large cast, most of which don't seem to have acting high on their list of skills. The main tribe once again seem to be in the film purely for aesthetic reasons and are all dreadlocked, oily skinned manliness with little else going for them (I suspect my girlfriend had no issue with this). To be fair D'Lah's girl (the apparent center to this silly plot) is also easy on the eye so guys won't be totally disappointed. The darker skinned tribes of the plains seem to be trying at least, but in the end I suppose there's only so much you can do with a daft script like this.

THE VERDICT.

Those already familiar with Emmerich's films will probably be on familiar ground with 10,000BC. It is a bloated Summer Blockbuster with way more spectacle then story. What you might not expect is the sheer action epic it turns into which makes for a satisfying ride if you're willing to disconnect the brain and enjoy it for what it is. It's not life changing but there really is a lot worse you could be watching!

LIKE THIS?

YOU MIGHT LIKE...

INDEPENDENCE DAY.

Another blockbusting hit with loads of spectacle and daft plot twists- like Will Smith earnestly punching out an 8ft armoured alien.

JURASSIC PARK: THE LOST WORLD.

I was going to say the first film but the second instalment has the excessive action and diluted plot that fits more in line with 10,000BC.