Review of Bryan Loves You (2008) by Alex C — 19 Apr 2012

Tony Todd opens with the beginning narration for what seems to be an entirely different movie. This movie goes steadily downhill from there. The mythical Bryan was the son of a king and queen... In Arizona.

.. Yes, apparently royalty once lived in Arizona. We're never sure what happened to this kingdom, just that Bryan was killed by some guy as a child and now everyone is loved by him. That's as deep as the plot goes.

Once the main character's two friends have left the movie, we are forced to become painfully aware just how much he sucks at acting. The actor, who's not surprisingly also the director and producer, can't emote to save his life.

It is impossible to be conviced by his performance.