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Last updated: 26 Jul 2026 at 14:56 UTC

Movie Reviews by Simon Abrams - Page 35 of 37

681-700 of 730 Reviews

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Review of Buried (2010)

By Simon Abrams (730) for Slant Magazine (8,298) on 25 Sep 2010

A bratty but canny thriller that takes a very simple premise and runs much farther with it than any right-minded director should have been able to…

Review of I'm Still Here (2010)

By Simon Abrams (730) for Slant Magazine (8,298) on 12 Sep 2010

The crux of I'm Still Here is the same as the one central to most of Lars von Trier's filmic pranks: How far can one mess with one's audience…

Review of The Romantics (2010)

By Simon Abrams (730) for New York Press (561) on 07 Sep 2010

The Romantics is the kind of bland romantic melodrama that breeds resentment instead of sympathy for its young protagonists…

Review of Vampires Suck (2010)

By Simon Abrams (730) for Slant Magazine (8,298) on 29 Aug 2010

A characteristic work of monumentally lazy spoof comedy by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, Vampires Suck confirms Idiocracy's prediction…

Review of Dinner for Schmucks (2010)

By Simon Abrams (730) for Slant Magazine (8,298) on 29 Jul 2010

Dinner for Schmucks is the type of fatuous American comedy that hopes you'll excuse its narrative's logical inadequacies because it's just…

Review of Hugh Hefner: Playboy, Activist and Rebel (2009)

By Simon Abrams (730) for Slant Magazine (8,298) on 26 Jul 2010

From the title onward, it and its army of Hefner pals are out to show you what a nice, sweet, gentle, open-minded guy the old pornographer is…

Review of The Sorcerer's Apprentice (2010)

By Simon Abrams (730) for Slant Magazine (8,298) on 11 Jul 2010

There's no logic in The Sorcerer's Apprentice that can't be, and mostly isn't, made up on the spot, a concept that will likely appeal to real-life…

Review of Knight and Day (2010)

By Simon Abrams (730) for Slant Magazine (8,298) on 07 Jul 2010

One of the biggest mysteries of Knight and Day is figuring out who exactly the film is primarily for…

Review of The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010)

By Simon Abrams (730) for Slant Magazine (8,298) on 07 Jul 2010

Everything that could and should be elaborated at length to make for a convincing or even just passably trashy love story is glossed over here…

Review of The Karate Kid (2010)

By Simon Abrams (730) for Slant Magazine (8,298) on 07 Jun 2010

This new Karate Kid bluffs its way through the motions and never manages to invest a shred of conviction in its banal paint-by-numbers stock plot…

Review of Marmaduke (2010)

By Simon Abrams (730) for Slant Magazine (8,298) on 02 Jun 2010

Marmaduke the movie is exactly the kind of mind-numbing kiddie trash that parents dread taking their kids to…

Review of Agora (2009)

By Simon Abrams (730) for Slant Magazine (8,298) on 23 May 2010

A pointless spectacle that champions free-thinking intellectuals over violent zealots while ineffectually appealing to the same uncontrollable…

Review of Harry Brown (2009)

By Simon Abrams (730) for Slant Magazine (8,298) on 28 Apr 2010

Harry's world is the apocalypse that far-right-wingers normally need romantics like Cormac McCarthy to dream up…

Review of The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009)

By Simon Abrams (730) for Slant Magazine (8,298) on 25 Apr 2010

In its single-minded determination to prolong its viewer's agony, writer-director Tom Six's The Human Centipede (First Sequence) is nothing…

Review of Kick-Ass (2010)

By Simon Abrams (730) for New York Press (561) on 13 Apr 2010

For all its posturing, Kick-Ass doesn't risk taking the superhero genre seriously and hence is all too happy to be impotent…

Review of Hot Tub Time Machine (2010)

By Simon Abrams (730) for Slant Magazine (8,298) on 27 Mar 2010

Hot Tub Time Machine winds up begging the central question that it was never ready to answer: Why idolize the '80s yet again…

Review of Repo Men (2010)

By Simon Abrams (730) for Slant Magazine (8,298) on 17 Mar 2010

To give resonance to that pedantic, half-baked conceit, director Miguel Sapochnik apes the severe gravitas of Children of Men…

Review of Daybreakers (2010)

By Simon Abrams (730) for New York Press (561) on 13 Jan 2010

Daybreakers was unceremoniously dumped into theaters by unadventurous studio heads in the first week of January, [but] one shouldn't take their…

Review of The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)

By Simon Abrams (730) for Slant Magazine (8,298) on 19 Nov 2009

Parents: If I can (poorly) discipline a 16-year-old cat to not howl before sunrise, you can teach your kids to not emulate Bella Swan…

Review of 2012 (2009)

By Simon Abrams (730) for Slant Magazine (8,298) on 10 Nov 2009

Roland Emmerich provides the next entry in the Apocalyptically Disastrous subgenre of mega-blockbuster cinema, following up Transformers: Revenge…

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Simon Abrams has written reviews for:

Village Voice (8,525)
Slant Magazine (8,298)
Chicago Sun-Times (7,580)
Time Out (7,510)
RogerEbert.com (5,563)
Guardian (4,584)
The Playlist (3,871)
TheWrap (3,203)
The Guardian (2,969)
NPR (1,713)

Simon Abrams is connected to:

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