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Last updated: 06 Jun 2026 at 18:08 UTC

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Review of by Greg W — 18 Jul 2016

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One of those films that I watched very late one night, hoping it'd bore me to sleep as I couldn't muster the tumescence for a wank.

It didn't.

The Cleef kicks so much shit-kicker arse as an underestimated, loner "redskin in cavalry bluuuuuuuue!!!", cooly facing off the adversity with deadpan one-liners, his fists and a tomahawk (all between getting pissed, high and laid) that by the end of it, not only did I want a Captain Apache fur collar coat, a little of the shit he took in the heavy funk, psychedelic dream sequence and to sing my own theme tune. I needed a wank!

Looks like a Western. Plays like Blaxploitation. Sounds like a porno. And he sings the end credits too. Really badly. This one is just too much fun!

This review of Captain Apache (1971) was written by on 18 Jul 2016.

Captain Apache has generally received negative reviews.

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