Review of The Nines (2007) by Michael H — 22 Mar 2010

THE NINES is listed as Drama/Fantasy/Mystery/Sci-Fiâ?¦yeah, thatâ??s about right. It certainly feels like 4 different movies rolled into one. As a whole the cracked-out directing can get in the way sometimes, but half of the movie is really enjoyable, with a driving force similar to Vanilla Sky (Tom Cruise shagging Cameron Diaz, saying â??what the fuck is happeninnnning?â??).

Well, when you discover the answer to that question in The Nines you surely will be disappointed. Iâ??m going to go out on a limb as to why the film flopped so bad in the box office. The three storylines, 1) a troubled actor 2) a TV show runner 3) a video game designerâ?¦.all not very marketable. Movies about/dealing with â??the industryâ?? tend to flop.

If you get motion sickness easy, take Prochlorperazine (I exaggerate, of course). If you need other medication for your eyes, bust out your lighter and get to it. Just remember, itâ??s equally confusing sober, and equally disappointing. *1/2 (for originality and I like Ryan Reynolds).

Oh btw, for future reference: It was written and directed by Tim Burtonâ??s favorite writer John August. The eclectic writer of GO!, Charlieâ??s Angels I and II, Big Fish, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, The Corpseâ??s Bride, and Prince of Persia (150 million dollar Bruckheimer movie coming soon).