Review of Road House (1989) by Armands S — 06 Mar 2012

Until I sat down to watch this film I only knew of it as the film that my father wanted to own because of the Patrick Swayze nude scenes. Don't be alarmed, my father is not homosexual, he is just aroused by the nude male form.

I was given the gift of Swayze on my twentienth birthday and was able to view one of the greatest films in the history of the universe. Dalton (Swayze) is a nomadic bartender. He ends up in some small town and rents a house from this old guy. Twenty minutes later he is nailing this blonde doctor and walking around naked. Next thing you know some guy is driving a monster truck through a car dealership. Then Sam Elliott shows up with an extremely hairy pubis region and gets beat up...well actually he dies. Swayze retaliates by literally ripping a guys fucking trachea out of his throat. Not to ruin the ending but a stuffed bear falls on a guy.